


Thine Own Self

by entanglednow



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dubious Consent, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-06
Updated: 2010-01-06
Packaged: 2017-10-14 17:35:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/151755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/entanglednow/pseuds/entanglednow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wants to point out that at least Ruby gave him a choice, for all that it was a brittle, hazy one he fell too deep to see.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thine Own Self

  
"What exactly do you want?" Sam asks and his voice sounds thin, brittle.

Gabriel looks at him from where he's leant against the bar. Though the place is completely empty, wood too rich and too new, too wrong, like the place isn't quite real. It probably isn't.

Gabriel makes himself a smile, too wide and too sharp.

"What do you think, Sam, you're a clever boy."

Sam's mouth pulls into a thin line and he shakes his head.

"No games, no mockery and no magic tricks. Just tell me what you want."

Gabriel sighs, as if, yet again, Sam's completely missed the point.

"You never want to play, Sam. That's a failing of yours, everything has to be now. I bet you skip to the end of books too. You _always_ want to know how it ends."

"Gabriel," Sam says sharply. There's a dry thin edge of tension like a sick coil in his gut. "You've dragged me all the way out here, just give me a straight answer."

Gabriel pulls a face, as if he disapproves of Sam's impatience.

"Fine, it's simple enough. My help in exchange for your _appreciation_ ," Gabriel tells him, all laziness and innuendo. "There that's a civilised way to put it."

Sam thinks he was expecting exactly that but he's not prepared for it. He's not prepared for Gabriel to say it and make it real. He can't help the way his face pulls down. A quick instinctive refusal.

"That's what I want," Gabriel says smoothly and spreads his hands. "Take it or leave it."

"You're an angel," Sam says stiffly, wary confusion, because he's fairly sure that angels can't - that they _shouldn't._

"And you let a demon fuck you," Gabriel says, slow and sensible. "I'd say you're taking a step up in the world."

Sam doesn't flinch, though he thinks he should. He thinks that's exactly what Gabriel wants out of him. He wants to point out that at least Ruby gave him a choice, for all that it was a brittle hazy one he fell too deep to see. But he's just so damn tired.

"In fact you let her do a hell of a lot more than that, you seem to make a habit of going into things blind, and what did she ever give you hmm? Apart from a sort of power that would have eaten you from the inside without a second thought -"

There's still a long slash of blood on the back of Sam's hand, still tacky wet.

It's Dean's, from where he got flung into the wall earlier tonight, bright red and still heavy with the smell of wet pennies.

Head wounds always bleed like a bitch.

"Alright, yes," Sam says. Cutting Gabriel's ramble in half.

There's a flash of honest surprise, quickly painted over with amusement and something else, something hot and vast and almost threatening.

"Yes," Sam says and his voice sounds thick and awful. "Help us and I'll do whatever you want."

Gabriel makes a noise, hard in his throat, and Sam honestly can't tell if it's a laugh or not.

"Well, I didn't expect that to be so easy. You really are _desperate,_ aren't you?" Gabriel's voice has a strange flat edge of anger to it.

Sam swallows whatever angry thing of his own he wants to say. He swallows it all the way down and nearly chokes on it.

"It's the world," he says instead, quick and hard. Though that's not all it is. It's Dean and Cas and Bobby and Ellen and Jo and they need something, they need it _so fucking badly_. They need Gabriel. "The whole world. And I think what Lucifer has planned for me is probably worse."

"Probably worse." Gabriel rolls the words around in his mouth somewhere between amused and offended.

"On one condition," Sam says stiffly.

Gabriel raises an eyebrow and Sam doesn't know whether that's honest curiosity or amusement at him demanding something.

"By all means, Sam, state your demands."

"I want Jo and Ellen back."

Gabriel leans back on his hands, watches him and says nothing for a long minute.

"It's the end of the world, it's war, people die."

Sam wonders why they're pretending he hasn't had the 'people die' speech a hundred times already, a thousand.

"That's what I want," Sam says simply, roughly, and maybe part of him is pretending it will be too much, That Gabriel will refuse and Sam will refuse and they'll walk away and pretend this never happened. That he never nearly agreed to this -

"Fine," Gabriel says, shoulders moving in a half-shrug, as if it's nothing. As if it's easy, as if he was expecting Sam to ask for more.

"That's it?"

Gabriel spreads his hands as if to ask what more Sam expects. When Gabriel's never done anything but huge overblown gestures before.

It feels too final, too real.

"I'll demand things too Sam," Gabriel says quietly into the silence. "Are you going to let me have what I want?"

Sam grits his teeth, hands sweaty and too tight where they're shoved into his jeans.

"Yes." There's a low honesty in the word, but it's sharp and hard. One tight flare of misery that he doesn't even try to hide.

Gabriel doesn't seem to care.

He smiles like that's enough.

Sam clears his throat.

"When are you -"

"I'll be around," Gabriel says simply, quietly.

And then he's just gone.

Sam doesn't breathe easy for a long time.

  



End file.
